I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
