return my video game
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
