yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
