My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
