he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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