Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
