The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
