Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
