The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
