Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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