I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
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well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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