Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
