Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
