yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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