just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
