you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
