Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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