I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
