Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
