Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
