Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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