try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
