He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
