? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
