Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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