Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
