Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
