i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
