y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
