i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
