He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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