I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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