apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dear god my vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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