Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
