i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
