Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
