It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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