Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I smell stomach acid.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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(714): View more from California

Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

(562): View more from California

You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

(714): View more from California

Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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(315): View more from New York

It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"

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(415): View more from California

He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.

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(607): View more from New York

his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm just too horny to handle empty house

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