the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize