Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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