Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
