i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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