i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
