If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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