you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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