Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
