I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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