i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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