i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
