she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
