yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
