i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
