Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
