I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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