Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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