You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
