Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
