some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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