remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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