Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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