Already got asked if we're dating
Nicole vs. Life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
