discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
