I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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