guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I need a beard to bite.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize