Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
