he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
