If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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