also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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