Moan for me like Helen Keller
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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