Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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