exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
