hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
