Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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