There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
